Visited the bank this monday morning and
met quite number of people at the bank door
so decided to pen down my
observation..Enjoy!
1. The trustworthy ones.
This kind of people will enter the door with
their hands raised up and their heads bowed
down like they have given their life to christ..
People inside will be like ”Oga enter the door
has opened.!
2. The impatient ones.
This ones lack patience,they always wished
the door will open and close fast..
I was entering the bank the other day. A guy
inside started yelling at me.. Do fast come out
nah,when the door hasnt opened yet…. i was
like come Jack me come out nah.. grin grin
3. First timers.
This ones dont know how to operate the
door,some will even think the bank has
closed,some will wait for someone to comeout
before they enter.
4. The suspecious ones.
This ones will have to pull their
belt,necklace,wristwatch,bangles,shoes,drop
their phones,keys even after much done they
would be denied entrance.. The security officer
be like ”oga you be welder ? cheesy ”
5.The Experts.
This kind of people frequent the bank and now
with idea of how to bypass the sequrity..when
they enter the door they would hold out every
metal object like keys,phones outside the door
until the door makes attempt to close.. When
one door closes the other must open. wink
6. The Restless.
This ones will even join someone in entering
the door, even when they enter alone they will
want to know how many people are inside the
bank before the door opens.
7. Questionaries.
This ones will come to the door and ask
questions that one needs to consult the gods
before they answer, questions like..
People full inside bank?
Them they pay inside?
Teller still remain?
The ac dey work?
Have you guys closed for work?
Them dey show match inside?
8. The battle kings.
When there is no one inside the door and
coincidentally two people wants to enter from
both inside the bank and outside.. They will
keep pressing the buttons vigorously like a
game pad..
Who the cap fits let him wear.!
Feel free to add yours!
Category: Uncategorized
5 Types Of People You Meet At A Typical Nigerian Buka (Mama Put)
Being a bachelor has taken me to several
kinds of iya Amina, Embassy, Mama Bee and
other local canteens in Osogbo, so i felt i had
to share my experience of various kind of
people i meet:
1. The Oppressors:
These type of people are often very fat, they
sit down and the girls come down to them to
take their order, you hear stuffs like;
“4 wraps of pounded yam with egusi, put
panla, ponmo, ogunfe, assorted and meat, with
cold stout and bottle water”.
N.B: all the meats, fish, ponmos, assorted are
brought in several plates for them to eat as
much as possible.
2. The Voracious eater:
These set of people are normally slim, and
unlike the oppressors, they go to order their
food, you can recognize them when you hear;
“madam give me 8 fufu, no 10 cos i never
chop since morning, 3meat, 2ponmo, orobo
coke (50cl) and 2 pure water”.
3. The Acagons:
Na these ones tire me pass, they are the
downgraded versions of the voracious eater,
and they are well known by the madam. They
believe in quantity over quality, you will hear;
“iya bisi give me as usual, and the madam
puts 9 wraps of fufu with 1 lean meat”
NB: this set are the only ones that don’t order
for water, they prefer the one on the table,
used for washing hand”.
4. The formers:
These ones are mostly hated by the acagons
and they are mostly a group of young girls
sponsored by a maga. You will see there table
filled with all sorts of meats, fish, ponmos,
assorted and several chilled drinks, only for
them to eat part of it and leave the rest to the
feasting eyes of the acagon and voracious
eater. After they leave, you start hearing
comments especially from the acagons like ”
haaaaa embarassed, ota aje ni awon omo yii
o ( this girls are enemy of money o).
5. Father xmas:
This list is not complete without them, they
are the popular ones in the hood, the acagons
and voracious eater always pray to meet them
in the canteen. If he enters, you start hearing
“baba agbalagba, chairman, i remain loyal sir”
and he never dissapoints them too.
Feel free to add yours!!!!!!!!!!!
Shell To Pay N15bn Compensation To NigerDelta Community Over Oil Spills
Shell Petroleum Development Company has
finally agreed to pay a compensation of £55
million (N15.3 billion) for two oil spills that
occurred in Bodo community in Gokana Local
Government Area of Rivers State in 2008.
The company had allegedly offered £30 million
initially, but the community was reported to
have rejected it, making the oil giant present
the new offer.
According to a statement by Shell’s Corporate
Media Relations Manager, Precious Okolobo,
the £55 million settlement agreement provides
for an individual payment to each claimant,
who accepts the settlement agreement in
compensation for losses arising from the two
regrettable spills, amounting to up to £35
million in total. He explained that the
remaining £20 million payment will be made
for the benefit of the Bodo community
generally.
About 15,000 residents of Bodo community,
represented by a UK law firm, Leigh Day, had
in 2011 appealed to a London court to ask
Shell to pay it a compensation of more than
£300 million, for the spilling of 500,000
barrels of oil.
The London High Court had in June 2014
rejected the community’s attempts to expand
the scope of the compensation, as it ruled
that the pipeline operator could not be held
responsible for damage caused by oil theft.
The judgement was however delivered based
on preliminary issues in the suit.
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Fayose Says Jonathan Will Win Re-election InFebruary
Ekiti State governor, Ayodele Fayose says
Presidential Goodluck Jonathan would be re-
elected in February, but the result of the
presidential election will not be a win-win
situation.
The governor said this on Monday at the
Murtala Muhammed International Airport,
Lagos, as he arrived from a trip abroad. “Let
me make it clear to all Nigerians, the election
is going to be a little bit turbulent, but
Jonathan will win and there will be reactions.
“Even if Buhari wins the election today, there
will be reactions. Somebody was telling me
that the violence would stop if General
Muhammadu Buhari wins. This shows Buhari
and All Progressives Congress (APC) are
behind it.
“However, we should remember that the
economy of this country lies in the South-
South, so, we must balance it. It is not a win-
win situation, even for Jonathan, but
Nigerians must be ready to accept the result
of the election and I can assure you that
Jonathan will win,” he said.
In his reaction to news making rounds about
Buhari’s certificates, Fayose challenged the
former head of state to come out and present
his certificates to Nigerians. He opined that
the era of Nigeria being ruled by school
certificate holders was over.
“The era where you will say I am leading
Nigeria with school certificate is gone. I don’t
take people on a personal note, but this
particular leadership we are looking for must
have the competence. Jonathan is the first
Nigerian president who has the paper
qualification. General Buhari truly doesn’t
have the certificate.
“People claimed that I don’t have the
certificates too. I have gone through the
courts, including the tribunal. So, what else
are we talking about? I want General Buhari
too to submit himself for us to check. It is not
about popularity alone.
“Buhari must address the certificate issue in
the overall interest of Nigeria. If Ayo Fayose
with HND in a state like Ekiti is seen as
someone without education, so, General
Buhari will now come with the Almajiri School
and come and lead Nigeria?” he querried.
Fayose also noted that Buhari lacks the
eloquence, ability and the capacity to lead the
country.
He warned those planning violence before,
during and after the election to have a change
of mind, adding that no one has the monopoly
of violence.
When asked to comment on the crisis rocking
the Ekiti State House of Assembly, Fayose
explained that some lawmakers decided to
stay away from their duties and he not beg
them to return.
“Are you supposed to be a honourable
member in Ekiti and sit in Lagos or Osun? If
that is their position, I should go and beg
them? Forget that. Let them remain in exile. I
was in exile for a period of time and heaven
didn’t fall. They should remain in exile. If they
want to come, let them come.
“The Speaker just called me recently and
asked for their Christmas gifts. I told him they
should collect them from Lagos and Osun
state governments or the speaker of those
states,” he added.
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Phyno – “Olamide Inspires Me And I Inspire Him”
They are both the hottest indigenous rappers
in the country at the moment and they have a
great rapport with each other.
Phyno and Olamide have produced hit tracks
together, toured the country, won several
awards and still have a lot of respect for
themselves.
Phyno told HipHopWorld that he’s inspired by
Olamide Baddo because he has raised the bar
and set the standard.
‘Ola is a very hardworking dude, one of the
most hardworking artistes in Nigeria, putting
out 3 albums in 3 years! Men, no be beans,
I’m not sure any artiste has done that in
Nigeria. and anytime we step into the studio
together, he inspires me and I inspire him and
any track we jump on, we must surely kill it”
Unto Plan B! Governor Rochas Okorocha Picks APC Governorship Ticket
After he lost in the presidential primaries,
Imo State Governor, Rochas Okorocha
picked the governorship ticket of the APC
in absentia. He’s now the flagbearer of
APC in Imo state after his son in law
Uche Nwosu, the Commissioner for Lands
and Urban Planning, stepped down.
Uche Nwosu had initially been adopted as
the governorship candidate for Imo State,
a position he reportedly accepted to keep
for his father-in-law in case he didn’t win
the presidential ticket. Nwosu announced
his withdrawal yesterday following
Okorocha’s loss at the APC convention.
Speaking before the ratification of
Okorocha’s candidature, the Chairman of
the Electoral Committee, Mr. John
Alamba said: ”A few days ago, we
gathered here to elect Chief Nwosu as the
APC governorship candidate, but I was in
Lagos when I learnt that the candidate
had resigned on personal grounds. We
are gathered here today to ratify Governor
Okorocha as the party’s governorship
candidate”. Nwosu said “party’s interest
supersedes personal ambition”, and
enjoined members to give same support
and solidarity to Okorocha.
Benue state governor Suswam & hisdeputy in auto crash
According to a report on Tribune , Benue state
Governor Gabriel Suswam and his deputy,
Steven Lawani, were involved in a ghastly
road accident yesterday Friday November
14th.
The accident occurred at Angbaaye, near
Makurdi, after another vehicle lost control,
somersaulted and hit 2 vehicles in the
Governor’s convoy. Fortunately no one died
but 8 people were injured. The governor and
his deputy who were in the same vehicle and
were on their way to flag off a road project in
Wannune, Tarka LGA and Gboko were
uninjured.
The 8 people who were injured, mostly from
the car that hit the governor’s convoy were
rushed to the hospital in Makurdi. The
governor is reported to have helped in the
rescue mission.
Dr Myles Munroe And His Wife Dead In Plane Crash
THE leader of Bahamas Faith Ministries, Dr Myles Munroe, and his wife
Ruth have been killed in a plane crash in Grand Bahama.
The crash took place this afternoon and killed all nine people on board
the private jet. The plane reportedly struck a crane at the Grand
Bahama Ship Yard, exploding on impact and crashing into the ground
near a junkyard area.
The Department of Civil Aviation reported that the plane was a Lear 36
executive jet which departed the Lynden Pindling International Airport
(LPIA) for the Grand Bahama International Airport.
The plane left LPIA at 4.07pm with
nine people on board and crashed
while making an approach for
landing at Grand Bahama
International Airport at 5.10pm,
the Department of Civil Aviation
said.
A police on source on the island
previously said two were feared
dead. However, police sources later
confirmed that all those on board
had been killed.
The police source also said it was
believed the group was heading to
a conference hosted by Pastor
Munroe.
The identities of the other people on board have not yet been
confirmed.
The statement said while the department was advised of fatalities, it
was awaiting confirmation from police on if there were any survivors.
The Grand Bahama Airport Company Crash Fire Rescue Department responded to the incident, and the Police
and Bahamas Air Sea Rescue (BASRA) are presently on the scene.
The department said a full scale investigation will start tomorrow morning at daylight, which will include the
Department of Civil Aviation Aircraft Accident Investigation Prevention Unit.
A BETTER NIGERIA 